August 29, 2010

More things he says

Eff-fa-fant = elephant

Kanoonoo = Kangaroo

Doos = stairs (this one is very, very old)

He also very definitely says "See you later", as you can see here:


On the progress front, "wawa" has become "water"!


November 13, 2007

Too...much...going...on...

There's so much to blog about I don't know where to start, so today you just get links.

John McCain thinks that calling Hilary Clinton a bitch is part of an "excellent question." More discussion here.

Somebody is finally noticing that the majority of animated characters are boys - even when they are worker bees...which are always female.

And finally, in Seattle, a collection of apartments designed to get chronically alcoholic homeless people off the streets that does NOT require them to stop drinking.

Here is another article about it. Here is their official site.

I support this idea wholeheartedly. Yes, take my taxes, please. Alcoholism is a mental illness like any other, and poverty and homelessness are not likely to help anyone quit. Why deny someone the social supports that keep them off the street because they can't cure their illness alone, or because it isn't cured yet? The idea is inhumane and preposterous.

The quote that really got me is this one:

"Finally, he asks, what kind of equation of humanity is this: Since you refuse to stop drinking, since you refuse to address your disease, you must die on the streets."

November 1, 2007

The Jena 6

I realized the other day that I haven't blogged about the Jena 6. I just kind of have felt that it was pretty obvious what needed to be said, and others were saying it better than me. But now I feel like my silence might be interpreted as not having an opinion, or not caring.

(Well, OK, no one who knows me would think that I don't have an opinion.)

In any case, there have been many commentators recently, including allegedly one on NPR that I haven't been able to verify yet, that have said things like, "It's just a noose."

A noose is a symbol of lynching. A symbol used in a ritual of murder, torture, and the enforcement of the idea of white supremacy. For some graphic pictures that help make this point, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynching

It isn't just a noose.

http://www.freethejena6.org/

October 31, 2007

What a great message

I really enjoyed this video from fat activist Joy Nash, ESPECIALLY THE LAST 45 seconds.

So many people still believe that all fat people are fat because they are sloppy, lazy, or pigs...Thank you, Joy, for taking a stand in the other direction!

Enjoy!

September 21, 2007

The face of comprehension

The Republican Mayor of San Diego has had a change of heart and decided, after years of saying that he supported civil unions but not civil marriage, that "separate but equal" is not acceptable. In a deeply moving speech, he speaks of his decision and mentions his circle of gay and lesbian friends and family, including his daughter.

For as long as Youtube will host it, here's the video. It's truly lovely.

If you want to send him a note of thanks, please do so! His website, with contact info, is here.

This video is even more timely to me because over the last few days I have been tinkering with my thoughts on what would be the most effective and exciting research that I would like to pursue in a PhD program. I've toyed with research that would directly address access to higher education in California (locally practical application of my passions) or developing techniques to increase empathy in loaded situations like the middle east (the dreamer's route).

Over the past few days the latter has been mutating a little, and I've begun to think that perhaps I'd really enjoy researching the tipping points for groups in power.

The question is, when do people with power and privilege finally realize that they are holding untenable positions?
What is it that convinced the mayor?
What is it that finally made it clear to white people, or at least to some of us, that the n-word is never funny, that "Separate but Equal" is not?
When did enough men in America realize that women were entitled to vote?
And how does the "tipping" of a small percentage of people spread to the majority of a society? When can it become policy change?
What is the moment, the "face", of comprehension?

Turning the questions to practical future applications: What would be the tipping point to convince the majority of Israelis that they are holding an untenable and immoral position in terms of the Palestinians? How could I influence straight Americans to accept transgendered children as normal and beautiful?

Is there some collection or conjunction of factors that could be described - and then perhaps created - that can be expected to open the eyes of a majority in power that is committing a crime against humanity to see that their position is immoral?

I wonder what's already been done in this arena...

June 28, 2007

A nasty day all around

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Today the Bush Supreme Court struck down the rights of school systems to use race in order to determine school attendance rolls. With our nation's schools already segregated, this ruling puts more nails in the coffin.

The New York Times has a good editorial here.

I also have sitting on my desk (but haven't read it yet) this book: Can We Talk About Race?: And Other Conversations in an Era of School Resegregation, by Beverly Daniel Tatum. I hope that it has some inspiring ideas for me to help change things.

Her previous book, "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?": And Other Conversations about Race , is one of my all-time favorites. Buy it at your local bookstore!

eqcalogo.gifIn other disturbing news...

I found out today in an e-mail from Equality California (EqCA) that Four anti-LGBT initiatives were recently filed in Sacramento. From their email:

"All four measures would ask California voters to amend the state constitution to ban marriage for same-sex couples. Two of the initiatives go even further and would void all of California's current domestic partnership rights, which lawmakers, EQCA, community activists and our allies fought so hard to earn."

California's offical website on initiative measures is here.

According to EqCA, they still need to collect signatures before they can be voted on. I pray to anyone who's listening that such signatures will not be collectible; but after prop 22, I don't have my hopes too high for the voters of this great state.

June 24, 2007

Happy Pride weekend, you fabulous creature you!

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I love this town, I love this parade, I love being queer. Hallelujah and pass the leather boots!

June 22, 2007

What I'm tired of seeing

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Q. Why did I turn off the movie "V for Vendetta" after 30 minutes?

1. The main female character (and in the first 30 minutes, the only one with any significant lines) is threatened with a brutal rape in the first ten minutes of the movie. She escapes this fate because she is rescued by a masked white man.

This is not a plot that I want to submit myself to watching. Rape is not a casual shorthand for brutality - it is a tactic of war used against women. I don't want to see it casually onscreen as a minor plot point.

2. Unless I missed one when I blinked, every person in the first 30 minutes of the movie was white. (*OK, turns out that there is a convenient 'ethnic cleansing' plot that explains this....but I am not convinced it was necessary.)

3. The violence was unnecessarily graphic.

Q. Why criticize this movie when it's a remake of a comic book? That comic is the original source of any sexism, racism, or violence in the story; the filmmaker was just bringing that story to the screen.

Well, I probably wouldn't buy the comic either, but more to the point, the stories that we tell shape who we are. If all of the powerful anti-Bush movies (as well as, of course, all of the summer blockbusters and the large majority of American movies in general) are also sexist, racist, and violent, then we are telling ourselves - and especially our children - that only white men:

- have the power to beat Bush
- are interesting enough to build a story around
- have the power to stop rape, and only when it serves their purposes

We are telling our children that women:

- are helpless and dependent
- are instantly rendered terrified and helpless by a threat of rape
- do not fight back

We are telling our children that people of color:

- do not exist

Q. Why do I feel the need to criticize a movie that many progressives support as an anti-tyranny, anti-Bush movie? Shouldn't we be supporting art that supports our cause?

I freely admit to having mixed feelings about this. Yes, I do want to support art that supports the causes that are vital to our survival as a species and to general issues of social justice. But I also feel that in order for social justice to proliferate, I need to remind those with more power than I (like V for Vendetta's male white movie director James McTeigue, and white male writers the Wachowski brothers) that just as it's not cool to invade Iraq, it's also not cool to use rape as a quick way to establish a repressive backstory, or to leave out people of color as if they do not exist.

I am tired of watching women be helpless, brutalized, terrified and useless in movies, whether those movies depict the Hulk or the "War on Terror". I am tired of white men getting all of the good lines and all of the good roles. I won't give those directors my money because my power clearly doesn't matter to them.

When I make my hundred million dollars, my movie production company will tell the stories that I feel need telling: of strong women, multicultural societies, people who fight to end racism, etc. The stories we tell shape who we are.

June 13, 2007

Cool web resource of the week

Or...you know, of the...semester. Unless I manage to actually post more often than that.

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The Mavin Foundation is "the nation's leading organization that builds healthy communities that celebrate and empower mixed heritage people and families."

They have a great website and also a magazine. I love their positive and constructive articles on multi-racial identity, activities, empowerment, family issues, and more.

Some examples of articles in the magazine:

Hawai'i as mixed-race immersion therapy
The [im]possibility of [multi]racial + [homo]sexual border crossing
One box does not fit all: UC Regent's suggested policy change sparks a heated debate
Mixed Recognition: Canada's Metis continue their fight for constitutional rights
Mixed Blood Native Americans: First nation reflections on being mixed
Understanding transracial adoption
The Mexipino Experience: A personal reflection & history of a multiehtnic community in San Diego, California
Report on the 8th Annual National Student Conference on the Mixed Race Experience

Check it out!

Sometimes, laughter is the best way to deal with the idiots

I can be VERY fond of Stephen Colbert. Enjoy!


February 17, 2007

What's wrong with this picture?

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Read this article today in the New York Times about the controversy surrounding the newest Newberry Award-winning book, The Higher Power of Lucky. Librarians and parents alike are appalled that the nine- to twelve-year-old audience for this book (about a strong and gifted girl, no less!) would be exposed to the word "scrotum" in the first page.

To quote the New York Times, here is the context of this frightening and shockingly corrosive word:

The book’s heroine, a scrappy 10-year-old orphan named Lucky Trimble, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.

“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much,” the book continues. “It sounded medical and secret, but also important.”

What a wonderful way to capture the experience of a bright child learning about life! I am so frustrated by this kind of knee-jerk paranoia in this country. Why would you deny a child the correct name for a perfectly normal part of the human body? Are we supposed to tell little boys it's a hooha (oh, no, sorry, that's actually a vagina, if you live in Florida) and keep little girls from knowing anything at all about male anatomy until they get married?

Please. If anyone has a good idea for changing this country from a puritan state to a place where we learn about healthy bodies, and treasure them, at all ages, let me know.

February 13, 2007

An open letter to Senators Clinton and Obama, and Candidate John Edwards:

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Congratulations to all of you on your stellar careers! It is truly exciting to see a woman, a person of color, and a man who dares to speak of poverty as the three top contenders for the Democratic presidential nomination. Perhaps in the next election I will see this country returned to the values that I, and a majority of Americans, hold dear: compassion, fiscal health, environmental health, health care and quality of our lives, and America standing as a beacon for international stability, for a start!

However, we have not yet won. I believe we will, if we can convince swing voters of the truth: that we have the best interest of all Americans at heart. With that in mind, I have a radical proposal that I hope you will all consider very carefully:

I beg of you to completely refrain from any negative statements or ads about each other in the coming campaign. You read that right: completely refrain.

Although I'm pretty sure that my political preferences are more progressive than those of any of you, any of you would be better than a Republican. I don't think I need to remind you that the survival of the human species depends on environmental choices in the next five years which the Republican party has shown no interest in making.

I suggest using that as a touchstone: all three of you will be more powerful than any of you alone in swaying popular taste to supporting democratic ideas. Let's work together to say, "It doesn't matter to us which one of us you vote for. What we need is for any one of us to be elected. American needs a Democratic President. We all have varying strengths and resumes which you can see on our websites. But we all believe in each other's abilities to be the next great president, and we trust America to vote for the Democrat that they feel best about."

I ask you to ask yourselves, which would you prefer? Your Democratic opponent as president, or a Republican?

Please, let's use our collective campaign money to change the world, together. Put the good of the country ahead of your individual careers, and leave the name-calling against Democrats to Republicans. I believe that a united, positive front will do a great deal to court voters, and that a negative one will push them away, which we cannot afford. I beg you to test my theory. The fate of our civilization lies in your hands.

Sincerely,

Lythande

February 5, 2007

Wow.

I am struggling to find the words to describe this.

It's beautifully spelled out here at Americablog.com, so I recommend that you head over there and read the whole post.
Short version: Snickers (and parent company Mars, inc.) created a many-layered series of candy bar ads for the Superbowl and for the upcoming Daytona 500 that were startlingly homophobic.

How startlingly, you ask?

Well, here is a screenshot of a man drinking motor oil - a suicidal activity - as a remedy for accidentally touching lips with another man.

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Or, alternatively, one could undo accidental gay touching with brutal violence, such as slamming a man under a car hood:

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or beating him in the stomach with a wrench:

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Apparently thinking they were being funny, Mars created an ad where two "butch" men, desperate to eat a snickers, end up eating the same bar and then being deeply disturbed when their lips accidentally touch. In the version aired during the actual Superbowl, they recoil in disgust and (apparently) start ripping out their chest hair. Homophobic, yes, but not graphically violent.

No, that content was apparently saved for the Snickers website. It's down now (thank you, HRC!) but apparently there was lots of additional content, including:

- alternate endings where, in the sequences that include the images above, the men drank motor oil or antifreeze to "undo" their moment of intimacy, beat each other with wrenches, or slammed each other under hoods of cars. Sure - it's definitely better to be dead than gay!

- and perhaps worst of all, what is apparently real footage of Bears and Colts football players reacting to the "gay" content of the ad. Here's a sample screenshot:

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And people wonder why LGBTQ teens have a suicide rate four times that of kids who don't identify as queer.

I am so, so sickened. Please let Snickers/Mars know how you feel.

January 6, 2007

And here is our first request of said wonderful woman.

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IMPEACH HIM, Nancy.

We are at the bottom of the exclamation point!! It was a wonderful time! The weather was astoundingly calm and sunny, especially for a beach in Ess Eff. Parkas and hot drinks went untouched. People were passing out pastries and playing guitars.

When we all lay down to spell out the letters it got quiet and restful and I was tempted just to close my eyes and dream. My feet were wrapped around my partner's ears to make a perfectly straight side of the exclamation point; my head on a pile of sweaters in the sand.

A news crew was asking the pointless question, Do you think the country has the stomach for an impeachment? It isn't about whether we have the stomach. In a moral and ethical country, if someone appears to have broken the law, you hold them accountable. It doesn't matter if that's going to be hard. It's what you have to do.

January 4, 2007

Woman.

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November 14, 2006

Studio Ghibli rocks my world

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Studio Ghibli, under the direction of Hayao Miyazaki, has produced several excellent animated features that star strong, independent, and non-sexualized women. The best part is that these women and girls actually stay strong throughout the films instead of becoming helpless and needing to be rescued by men at the climax. (For just a few of the countless examples of this frustrating archetype, see Belle in Beauty and the Beast, Liz Sherman in Hellboy, Susan Calvin in I, Robot, etc...).

Many of Miyazaki's films also have anti-war and pro-environment themes, and all are exquisitely animated!

I think my favorite is Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind. The main characters include two "princesses" who carry their titles and their ethics very differently, and both are strong and active agents of their fates. (No Disney princesses here!) The character of Nausicaa is a joy to watch - smart, joyful, gifted, persistent, hugely ethical and caring. Plus the movie is thrilling, with exciting action, and characters I cared about. (For those of you who like scene-chewing cameos, listen for Uma Thurman, Patrick Stewart, Chris Sarandon, and, wonder of wonders, Mark Hamill on the soundtrack.)

I've also enjoyed:

totoro.jpg- My Neighbor Totoro. This one is a lovely, simple story of two little girls' friendships with a benevolent forest spirit. What I like is that the girls' father believes in the spirit, too, thus avoiding the usual frustrating tension between parents and prococious children in movies about the supernatural. It's also a lovely, gentle tale with only minor stupid plot contrivances - mostly they just have a good time. The girls are very believably created. Watch for a really neat cross between a cat and a bus!

- Spirited Away is the story of Sen, a spoiled girl who saves her parents from an enchantment by becoming a chambermaid in a magical resort for the gods. (It's better than it sounds!) This film has some scenes of real beauty, especially a sequence where Sen rides a train across a floodplain. Suzanne Pleshette is great in a dual role as two powerful witches. And it's great to watch Sen become a strong, inventive, and powerful force.

- Perhaps the most well-known of Miyazaki's films in America is Princess Mononoke. It's been a long time since I saw this one, but I remember a strong heroine, some great commentary on the grey areas of environmentalism vs. polluting technology, and beautiful cello music on the soundtrack.

- Howl's Moving Castle stands out for its heroine's particular battle: she is "cursed" with old age, but I seem to remember that she comes to find a lot of joy and solidity in her new "old" body. And how many animated films have you seen recently that starred a powerful, interesting, spirited grey-haired woman?

November 13, 2006

Responsibly made and super cozy!

ibex.jpgIn the hope that "Made in the USA" actually still does mean "responsibly made", I wanted to offer a shout-out to my new favorite responsible-I-hope merchant, Ibex. They claim to manufacture everything in the USA, plus these are fabulously warm sweaters. I finally bought a jacket I'd been coveting and it is not only toasty warm but actually breathes better than other jackets I own, so I didn't overheat. Highly recommended!

REI, as well, has been carrying an increasing number of garments that claim to be "made in Canada of USA fabric." I am feeling more skeptical lately that corporations that claim to be responsible actually are; but there's always the chance that these garments aren't made in sweatshops. I sure hope they aren't.

November 12, 2006

Correction

Um, that was SOUTH Dakota's abortion ban that was defeated.

*Thanks to my my biggest fan and most faithful reader. You rock...Dad! :)

November 8, 2006

Tears of joy

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WE TOOK THE HOUSE.

Rumsfield has resigned.

We are one seat away from taking the Senate.

7 marriage bans won, but one did not.

South Dakota defeated its abortion ban.

Nancy Pelosi is the first female Speaker of the House.

THANK YOU TO MOVEON.ORG AND EVERYONE WHO HAS GIVEN ME BACK HOPE FOR MY COUNTRY.

I wept last night when I saw we'd won the House; it was the best I have felt in a long, long time.

And in the future when we win the Senate, and the presidency, and the courts, and the hearts and minds of the people who keep voting to take away my rights and your rights, and when the last of the queer marriage bans is overturned...I look forward to feeling this good again. I'm so tired of feeling vulnerable, ignored, devalued, threatened.

We Will Make It Happen.

October 8, 2006

Welcome Moonbody!

Announcing a guest blogger for Light of The Moon: Moonbody. She is an
excellent critical analyst and social justice activist, and I'm thrilled
she has graced us with her presence and her brilliance. Enjoy her entries!

September 25, 2006

See this movie

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We saw Encounter Point tonight. It's a moving and (seemingly) honest documentary of unsung and little known peace movements in Israel and Palestine.

I highly recommend it if it comes through your neighborhood, or when it comes out on DVD.

image is of Ali Abu Awwad, one of the activists in the film.

Intersex is here to stay

B000GH2YXS.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_V63225858_.jpgExcellent article in the New York Times this week about the current state of medicine and activism concerning intersex children.

Short version: doctors and parents have been terrified for decades (I suppose longer) that intersexed children -- children born with genitalia that do not conform neatly to one or the other of our two acknowledged genders -- would be permanently scarred if left to grow up whole, as they were born. I do not use the word "terrified" lightly.

These children were and are subject to multiple surgeries without their consent, lied to about their bodies and their memories, and assigned genders which sometimes do not fit their gender identities. It was and is a person-made and completely unnecessary tragedy. I pray it will be ended in my lifetime.

A couple of quotes that stand out:

1.
When I met Melvin Grumbach, one of the doctors who cared for Chase as an infant and who went on to become one of the most respected pediatric endocrinologists in the country, he’d clearly heard Chase’s line of reasoning many times. He participated in forming the consensus, and he also signed it. He knew what he was supposed to say. “We say, ‘Don’t do surgery unless it’s necessary, unless it’s important,’ ” he told me in early summer in his office at the University of California in San Francisco, where he’s now an emeritus professor. “But I think if the external genitals are really masculinized, you work it out with the family. I mean, good grief. What about the parents? The parents are raising the child. Don’t they have some say?”

I love the The Intersex Society of North America's (ISNA) simple and stark take on this: "Parents’ distress must not be treated by surgery on the child."

Especially in the light of:

2.
(Eric) Vilain has a clinic devoted to treating disorders of sex development, where he sees 40 to 50 new intersex patients a year. When he first left the lab and started seeing patients, he said he couldn’t believe that surgeons were performing genital reconstructions with so little data. “To me it was shocking, because where I come from, molecular genetics, we’re under extreme scrutiny,” Vilain told me on the phone in July. “If you want to show that a molecule causes something, you have to show it with a bunch of excruciatingly painful controls. And here I was looking at a lot of surgeons who were saying, ‘We think it’s good to do genital surgery early on because the children are doing better.’ So each time I would ask, ‘What’s the evidence that they’re doing better?’ And in fact the answer is there’s no real evidence. Then I’d ask: ‘What does it mean doing better? How do you measure it? Are you talking quality of life, or quality of sex life?’ And there was never any convincing answer.”


And for me, this is what it comes down to:

3.
Building on work on the Colombia case, in 2004, Chase and the Intersex Society were involved in persuading the San Francisco Human Rights Commission to hold a hearing and address the question of medical procedures on intersex infants in the United States. Over the course of three hours, dozens of intersex people and parents of intersex people testified. When it came time to ratify the report, Chase addressed the commission. “What the Human Rights Commission has done. . .is to recognize me as a human being,” she said. “You’ve stated. . .that just because I was born looking in a way that bothered other people doesn’t mean that I should be excluded from human rights protections that are afforded to other people.”

In the end, intersexuality is like being gay: the problem is that it bothers other people.

Those imagined scenes of children being taunted in a locker room that drove doctors and parents to unnecessary surgery...when will it become our first thought to educate the other children, instead of mutilating the one that stands out?

---------------------------

More resources:

The Intersex Society of North America (ISNA)

Their main points:

* Intersexuality is primarily a problem of stigma and trauma, not gender.
* Parents’ distress must not be treated by surgery on the child.
* Professional mental health care is essential.
* Honest, complete disclosure is good medicine.
* All children should be assigned as boy or girl, without early surgery.

And here is a great list of books. I have read One of Us by Alice Dreger and really enjoyed it. I also plan to read As Nature Made Him by John Colapinto.

--------------

On a slighly different and unexpected hand...I found myself stunned by the first line of this same article, not because of the reaction described therein to an intersexed child, but because of the treatment of her mother:

When Brian Sullivan — the baby who would before age 2 become Bonnie Sullivan and 36 years later become Cheryl Chase — was born in New Jersey on Aug. 14, 1956, doctors kept his mother, a Catholic housewife, sedated for three days until they could decide what to tell her. Sullivan was born with ambiguous genitals...

(bolding mine.)

The arrogance of that system floors me. The doctors' extreme reaction to a baby not conforming to gender roles - this, at least, I am used to. This is why Cheryl Chase and people like her are so important: we are making a difference so that gender lines can be blurrier and no one has to be mutilated or die for their gender identity or physical appearance.

But the wanton drugging of a healthy woman, to shield her from the truth of her baby's healthy body...

I understand that it was the 1950s. Perhaps this woman was so programmed by a repressive society that her reaction upon hearing about her child's intersexuality would have been so extreme as to justify her involuntary 3-day coma.

But I gravely doubt that. It was surely the doctors who had been programmed to believe that a woman had no right to a say in her own access to consciousness.

We have not reached a sane or just society. But an image like this unexpectedly hits me in the chest with a reminder that we have come some distance.

August 29, 2006

1 year after Katrina

We will not forget.


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August 19, 2006

Coolest graphic ever

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I love it when someone designs exactly what I want.

Get it at Dyketees!

As a Bi parent, must I raise straight kids to prove that we are not contagious?

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As a Bi parent, must I raise straight kids to prove that we are not contagious?

Of course not! Other people's fears and prejudice are no reason for me to perpetuate their oppression in my house. We need to change the outside world's reactions, and prepare our kids to be safe, not continue the cycle.

The question is clearly ridiculous...but it does resonate. The author of this article (posted to the Advocate's website on July 11) covers the topic well. I was actually surprised to read how deeply some queer parents are troubled by fears like these; yet I know that under pressure, when we're scared, it's easy to lose sight of how to stand up for our principles.

As a queer woman, I know better than many how important it is to allow kids to be who they are, and love whom they love, without judgment. But if my children do end up identifying as LGBTQI or otherwise outside of the gender and sexuality mainstream, will I be blamed, as an out Bidyke mama, for "making them gay"...giving fuel to the movement to crush queer families?

Perhaps. But there are steps we can take that don't involve crushing our kids’ souls. America is not (yet) Nazi Germany - I don't need to convert my kids to homophobia to keep them safe. If (when) the world blames gay parents for making kids queer, we'll need to continue doing what we are doing now - promoting the studies that show our kids are just as healthy as anyone else's, working to educate other kids as well as their parents, coming out loud and proud wherever we can, etc.

So we fight politically. But what about the personal? Should we prevent our sons from wearing nail polish to school? Teach our daughters how to pretend to like boys if they don't? No. There is too much at stake. I cannot collude with the world that tried to crush my different views on gender and sexuality. I must align with my children to help them investigate their genders and their sexuality in healthy and safe places. Period. And together, as a family, my partner, my children and I can talk about what's right, and how to be safe.

No, the world still probably won't be safe out there for my kids to question gender and sexuality roles, even if it is already so much safer than it was a generation ago. Yes, we will need to teach them how to cover when necessary and how to protect themselves. AND we must constantly reinforce their right to be and love whomever they wish.

My plan?

I pledge...I know that if it is in my power: My kids will have dress-up clothes from all genders in their costume trunks and in their closets. They will have pink and blue and yellow and green and ribbons and fire trucks and fairy wings and dinosaurs, and I will encourage them to play with anything that they choose. I pledge never to collude with society in preventing my sons from painting their nails, or telling my daughters to sit with their legs crossed; instead I will talk with my kids about the gender messages they receive from inside themselves and from outside themselves; about how to be safe and where to cover, if necessary; and about what to do and say when other kids and parent and teachers tell them that they are doing something wrong.

More: I will not criticize my sons or love them less if they choose to play exclusively with trucks and trains; nor will I celebrate them any less should they grow up to be women. I will not criticize my daughters if they climb trees without shirts or dress as princesses for five Halloweens in a row. We'll talk to them about the gender roles they choose, and why; we'll let them choose their own paths. We have to.

And if my children do turn out to be queer-identified, for a few days or for their lifetime - frankly, it sounds to me like an additional joy. After all, I am currently the only queer-identified person in my immediate family.

I will love my kids no matter whom they love. It's not a question. I will also love them no matter how they vote, dress, or what they major in. :) I'll love them even if they wish their Mom would conform more (perish the thought). But/and if they happen to share Mama's discomfort with the mainstream binary gender paradigm...well, that's just so much the better!

image is a tee from Little Lefties, a company that follows strict environmental and social justice standards AND makes fabulous baby wear! As my brother said, there's nothing so cute as a two-month-old in an anarchist hat. Check them out!

August 18, 2006

it boggles the mind

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Feministing.com has posted the "winner" of their annual Disturbing Products Poll.

This is a real t-shirt design, sold here.

I have no words.

August 15, 2006

That hits the nail right on the head

Brief history of race relations in the US.jpg

Nuff said.

Cartoon by Barry Deutsch.

July 21, 2006

Stability for all families!

freedom to marry.jpgHooray for new data that makes our case that much more powerful!

In the July issue of Pediatrics magazine you will find this study that found that children from all kinds of families benefit when that family is legally recognized.

A quote from a press release I received:

Ellen C. Perrin, MD, Director of Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics and The Center for Children with Special Needs at The Floating Hospital for Children Tufts-New England Medical Center and one of the authors of the report, stated, "The scientific data overwhelmingly demonstrate that there is no relationship between parents' sexual orientation and any measure of children's emotional, psychosocial, and behavioral adjustment. We conclude that civil marriage is beneficial to children, regardless of the gender of the parents, because it strengthens families and helps foster financial and legal security, psychosocial stability, and an augmented sense of societal acceptance and support."

Hell yeah.

July 18, 2006

Madness

senesh.jpg

July 17th is the birthday of Chana Szenes.

At the same time, Israel is caught up in yet another bloody escalation. tankfireapstory203.jpg

Save the Children reports that children are bearing the insane brunt of the Israeli bombings and violence, and that a humanitarian crisis is looming fast, especially in Gaza.

I feel so stunned and helpless and deeply angry. How many more innocent people must die, how many lives ruined needlessly, before it is over? The question itself is cliche. It is unbearable.

To give money to help end this madness and suffering:
Middle East Children's Alliance
Save The Children

What is significant about Chana, especially today?

Chana emigrated to Israel before parachuting behind Nazi lines to try and save Hungarian Jews; before being tortured and then executed at the age of 22. By the accounts I've read she was brave, fiery, passionate, a gifted poet. She knew what was worth dying for. I have looked up to her for much of my life.

Yet knowing what is worth dying for is not enough, if the cause is unjust. In Chana's time the cause was just, I think. Today, I don't think it is. Not many people do, outside of the United States and Israel. The blindness of my peoples is terrifying.

I find it a likely, although ugly, truth that as a Zionist who saw the deaths of so many Jews, Chana might in all likelihood have supported Israel's current actions.

But perhaps not everyone would succumb to this madness. Perhaps she would not have. Perhaps she would have the seen the difference between parachuting into Yugoslavia to save European Jews, and killing 200 civilians (as of today, as reported on KPFA as well as the BBC) in Lebanon over two soldiers.

Can we not harness these deep passions for something better?

-----

Found in Chana's cell after her execution:

One - two - three... eight feet long
Two strides across, the rest is dark...
Life is a fleeting question mark
One - two - three... maybe another week.
Or the next month may still find me here,
But death, I feel is very near.
I could have been 23 next July
I gambled on what mattered most, the dice were cast. I lost.

July 14, 2006

Introducing Kenji Yoshino

kenji.jpegI first discovered Mr. Yoshino, a professor at Yale Law School, when I read about his book: "Covering: The New Assault on our Civil Rights."

The concept of "covering" - hiding the attributes of oneself that put the self at risk of personal harm based on rasicm, homophobia, etc. - has been a very useful tool to me as I negotiate this world as an queer activist. When do I feel safe to act "female", or to speak of my bisexuality? Where must I pretend to be a member of a dominant group in order to keep myself safe? What can I do in situations when I have power - as a white person, as a member of the US middle class, as someone for whom English is their first language, etc. - to create spaces where covering is not necessary?

Throughout this process, I have realized that for me, the spaces where I don't have to cover my activism are the most precious of all.

(I realized as I drafted this blog entry that I haven't actually read Mr. Yoshino's book, so I'm picking it up today. I assume I'll be recommending it to y'all highly in the next couple of weeks.)

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I was reminded of Mr. Yoshino because of his new Op-Ed today in the New York Times. In an analysis of the current rulings against gay marriage, he describes a dangerous legal technique with which I was not familiar: "restrict(ing) rights with a flourish of fond regards."

In other words, the LGBT community doesn't get marriage rights because we are too good to need such guidance.

Lovely. Thanks for the compliments, but gee, I think I'd rather have my rights. Funny that.

It's a good article, and it's also enlightening to learn of the convoluted arguments people use to prop up tired oppressions. He points out that similar arguments were used to deny women's rights, and also that the law that was upheld is based on provisions from 1909. Not exactly an era known for celebrating the moral superiority of the queer community.

As Mr. Yoshino concludes: "The “reckless procreation” argument sounds nicer — and may even be nicer — than the plainly derogatory “role model” argument...but equality would be nicer still."