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June 28, 2007

A nasty day all around

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Today the Bush Supreme Court struck down the rights of school systems to use race in order to determine school attendance rolls. With our nation's schools already segregated, this ruling puts more nails in the coffin.

The New York Times has a good editorial here.

I also have sitting on my desk (but haven't read it yet) this book: Can We Talk About Race?: And Other Conversations in an Era of School Resegregation, by Beverly Daniel Tatum. I hope that it has some inspiring ideas for me to help change things.

Her previous book, "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?": And Other Conversations about Race , is one of my all-time favorites. Buy it at your local bookstore!

eqcalogo.gifIn other disturbing news...

I found out today in an e-mail from Equality California (EqCA) that Four anti-LGBT initiatives were recently filed in Sacramento. From their email:

"All four measures would ask California voters to amend the state constitution to ban marriage for same-sex couples. Two of the initiatives go even further and would void all of California's current domestic partnership rights, which lawmakers, EQCA, community activists and our allies fought so hard to earn."

California's offical website on initiative measures is here.

According to EqCA, they still need to collect signatures before they can be voted on. I pray to anyone who's listening that such signatures will not be collectible; but after prop 22, I don't have my hopes too high for the voters of this great state.

February 17, 2007

What's wrong with this picture?

scrotum.gif

Read this article today in the New York Times about the controversy surrounding the newest Newberry Award-winning book, The Higher Power of Lucky. Librarians and parents alike are appalled that the nine- to twelve-year-old audience for this book (about a strong and gifted girl, no less!) would be exposed to the word "scrotum" in the first page.

To quote the New York Times, here is the context of this frightening and shockingly corrosive word:

The book’s heroine, a scrappy 10-year-old orphan named Lucky Trimble, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.

“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much,” the book continues. “It sounded medical and secret, but also important.”

What a wonderful way to capture the experience of a bright child learning about life! I am so frustrated by this kind of knee-jerk paranoia in this country. Why would you deny a child the correct name for a perfectly normal part of the human body? Are we supposed to tell little boys it's a hooha (oh, no, sorry, that's actually a vagina, if you live in Florida) and keep little girls from knowing anything at all about male anatomy until they get married?

Please. If anyone has a good idea for changing this country from a puritan state to a place where we learn about healthy bodies, and treasure them, at all ages, let me know.

September 25, 2006

Intersex is here to stay

B000GH2YXS.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_V63225858_.jpgExcellent article in the New York Times this week about the current state of medicine and activism concerning intersex children.

Short version: doctors and parents have been terrified for decades (I suppose longer) that intersexed children -- children born with genitalia that do not conform neatly to one or the other of our two acknowledged genders -- would be permanently scarred if left to grow up whole, as they were born. I do not use the word "terrified" lightly.

These children were and are subject to multiple surgeries without their consent, lied to about their bodies and their memories, and assigned genders which sometimes do not fit their gender identities. It was and is a person-made and completely unnecessary tragedy. I pray it will be ended in my lifetime.

A couple of quotes that stand out:

1.
When I met Melvin Grumbach, one of the doctors who cared for Chase as an infant and who went on to become one of the most respected pediatric endocrinologists in the country, he’d clearly heard Chase’s line of reasoning many times. He participated in forming the consensus, and he also signed it. He knew what he was supposed to say. “We say, ‘Don’t do surgery unless it’s necessary, unless it’s important,’ ” he told me in early summer in his office at the University of California in San Francisco, where he’s now an emeritus professor. “But I think if the external genitals are really masculinized, you work it out with the family. I mean, good grief. What about the parents? The parents are raising the child. Don’t they have some say?”

I love the The Intersex Society of North America's (ISNA) simple and stark take on this: "Parents’ distress must not be treated by surgery on the child."

Especially in the light of:

2.
(Eric) Vilain has a clinic devoted to treating disorders of sex development, where he sees 40 to 50 new intersex patients a year. When he first left the lab and started seeing patients, he said he couldn’t believe that surgeons were performing genital reconstructions with so little data. “To me it was shocking, because where I come from, molecular genetics, we’re under extreme scrutiny,” Vilain told me on the phone in July. “If you want to show that a molecule causes something, you have to show it with a bunch of excruciatingly painful controls. And here I was looking at a lot of surgeons who were saying, ‘We think it’s good to do genital surgery early on because the children are doing better.’ So each time I would ask, ‘What’s the evidence that they’re doing better?’ And in fact the answer is there’s no real evidence. Then I’d ask: ‘What does it mean doing better? How do you measure it? Are you talking quality of life, or quality of sex life?’ And there was never any convincing answer.”


And for me, this is what it comes down to:

3.
Building on work on the Colombia case, in 2004, Chase and the Intersex Society were involved in persuading the San Francisco Human Rights Commission to hold a hearing and address the question of medical procedures on intersex infants in the United States. Over the course of three hours, dozens of intersex people and parents of intersex people testified. When it came time to ratify the report, Chase addressed the commission. “What the Human Rights Commission has done. . .is to recognize me as a human being,” she said. “You’ve stated. . .that just because I was born looking in a way that bothered other people doesn’t mean that I should be excluded from human rights protections that are afforded to other people.”

In the end, intersexuality is like being gay: the problem is that it bothers other people.

Those imagined scenes of children being taunted in a locker room that drove doctors and parents to unnecessary surgery...when will it become our first thought to educate the other children, instead of mutilating the one that stands out?

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More resources:

The Intersex Society of North America (ISNA)

Their main points:

* Intersexuality is primarily a problem of stigma and trauma, not gender.
* Parents’ distress must not be treated by surgery on the child.
* Professional mental health care is essential.
* Honest, complete disclosure is good medicine.
* All children should be assigned as boy or girl, without early surgery.

And here is a great list of books. I have read One of Us by Alice Dreger and really enjoyed it. I also plan to read As Nature Made Him by John Colapinto.

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On a slighly different and unexpected hand...I found myself stunned by the first line of this same article, not because of the reaction described therein to an intersexed child, but because of the treatment of her mother:

When Brian Sullivan — the baby who would before age 2 become Bonnie Sullivan and 36 years later become Cheryl Chase — was born in New Jersey on Aug. 14, 1956, doctors kept his mother, a Catholic housewife, sedated for three days until they could decide what to tell her. Sullivan was born with ambiguous genitals...

(bolding mine.)

The arrogance of that system floors me. The doctors' extreme reaction to a baby not conforming to gender roles - this, at least, I am used to. This is why Cheryl Chase and people like her are so important: we are making a difference so that gender lines can be blurrier and no one has to be mutilated or die for their gender identity or physical appearance.

But the wanton drugging of a healthy woman, to shield her from the truth of her baby's healthy body...

I understand that it was the 1950s. Perhaps this woman was so programmed by a repressive society that her reaction upon hearing about her child's intersexuality would have been so extreme as to justify her involuntary 3-day coma.

But I gravely doubt that. It was surely the doctors who had been programmed to believe that a woman had no right to a say in her own access to consciousness.

We have not reached a sane or just society. But an image like this unexpectedly hits me in the chest with a reminder that we have come some distance.

July 14, 2006

Introducing Kenji Yoshino

kenji.jpegI first discovered Mr. Yoshino, a professor at Yale Law School, when I read about his book: "Covering: The New Assault on our Civil Rights."

The concept of "covering" - hiding the attributes of oneself that put the self at risk of personal harm based on rasicm, homophobia, etc. - has been a very useful tool to me as I negotiate this world as an queer activist. When do I feel safe to act "female", or to speak of my bisexuality? Where must I pretend to be a member of a dominant group in order to keep myself safe? What can I do in situations when I have power - as a white person, as a member of the US middle class, as someone for whom English is their first language, etc. - to create spaces where covering is not necessary?

Throughout this process, I have realized that for me, the spaces where I don't have to cover my activism are the most precious of all.

(I realized as I drafted this blog entry that I haven't actually read Mr. Yoshino's book, so I'm picking it up today. I assume I'll be recommending it to y'all highly in the next couple of weeks.)

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I was reminded of Mr. Yoshino because of his new Op-Ed today in the New York Times. In an analysis of the current rulings against gay marriage, he describes a dangerous legal technique with which I was not familiar: "restrict(ing) rights with a flourish of fond regards."

In other words, the LGBT community doesn't get marriage rights because we are too good to need such guidance.

Lovely. Thanks for the compliments, but gee, I think I'd rather have my rights. Funny that.

It's a good article, and it's also enlightening to learn of the convoluted arguments people use to prop up tired oppressions. He points out that similar arguments were used to deny women's rights, and also that the law that was upheld is based on provisions from 1909. Not exactly an era known for celebrating the moral superiority of the queer community.

As Mr. Yoshino concludes: "The “reckless procreation” argument sounds nicer — and may even be nicer — than the plainly derogatory “role model” argument...but equality would be nicer still."

May 10, 2006

Women's history: the perpetual amnesia

wonderwoman_ms_cover.jpgSorry for the radio silence this week. I was traveling. Had an interesting encounter on the road with women's history...

In San Diego, I found myself in a model train museum, in front of a display about women working in railyards. It was a typical photomontage about how women had to fight, and sue, their way into these "male" fields, starting in the early 20th century. It had all sorts of inspiring photos of women in coveralls and engineer caps, doing hard physical work and, seemingly, having a lot of fun.

What struck me was that as a woman in my thirties, raised in a feminist liberal environment, I still felt awe and grief looking at these photos. I still feel cut off from that sort of world. I know that my experience is not everybody's, but I think it may still be typical for many women to feel Other, Not Good Enough, Second Best, and not free to pursue - and be respected - in non-traditional fields. I know that's what I feel.

That same day I randomly stumbled upon the May 16th, 1999 edition of the New York Times Magazine, and really enjoyed an essay within: "The Future is Ours to Lose," by Naomi Wolf. I love her passionate reminder that women need to know our history, to keep the stories alive of the paths we have already worn, and the places we have already fought to get - lest the next generation not know that it has happened, or at what cost. My experience in the train museum was just today's manifestation of how little I know of what women have already fought for. How little I have internalized of what we should already be able to have completed.

A second resource (and I know the list could be very long) that I have found useful in the struggle to learn of the history of women is Manifesta. The first chapter of this book was very eye-opening for me as a young feminist. It lists how things were for women in 1970, as compared to in the 90s, when it was written and when I read it. The differences were astounding.

So why don't we know these things? Why don't I viscerally know these things? Why did the photo of the women changing a track signal with a two-foot long wrench make me feel so sad? Why was I surprised, years ago, to read that the classified ads for lawyers were listed as "men's jobs only" as recently as 1970?

As a cynic, I already knew what Naomi Wolf is saying: society fights for us to not hear these stories, to numb us, and to sedate young women into thinking that we are "post-feminist."

I need to read more women's history, and I need to read it every day. We need to tell these stories every day. To ourselves, and to everyone else, of all genders.

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As to Naomi Wolf's article: I haven't been able to find a copy online so I can't link to it, but there seems to be a copy of it in this Columbia Press book, The Columbia Documentary History of American Women Since 1941.

April 22, 2006

so...feeling heteronormative today? Silly you!

against_hetero.jpgSo what will I blog about? Hmmmm...heteronormativity...well, how about kids?

if 10% of kids are queer/questioning/will be queer someday, let's help them feel safe and normal, and help other kids learn that this is normal. Parents, uncles, aunts, babysitters, make at least 10% of books on your kid's shelves about queer kids or queer families. And especially, let's have a few out there like M or F? which (although I haven't read it yet, as I just found it on amazon) purports to actually be a happy story about queer youth, which is a narrative we desperately need.

What? You say there aren't enough books about queer families/kids? Moon blogger (and Amazon) to the rescue!

Here are some options that I found. I have not read them all so I cannot vouch for the quality, but I'm assuming that most of them should be pretty great:

For little kids:
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Heather Has Two Mommies
Daddy's Roommate
ABC A Family Alphabet Book
The Family Book
It's Okay To Be Different
Emma and Meesha My Boy: A Two Mom Story
One Dad, Two Dads, Brown Dad, Blue Dads
Who's in a Family?

For older kids:
Geography Club
GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens
Totally Joe
How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages
The Heart Has Its Reasons : Young Adult Literature with Gay/Lesbian/Queer Content, 1969-2004
M or F?

Lullabies to Sing at Night:
Everything's Possible by Fred Small, on his album No Limit

Happy shopping! Go wild!

Two other quick notes:
- All these books should also be available on more small-family busness friendly bookstore websites like Powell's, so don't feel obligated to use my Amazon links. I'm just being lazy, and I will stop soon. :)
- This list does not have enough teen fic with strong female queer characters, but I'm assuming these would be easy enough to find at a good feminist bookstore or website.

... I'm going to bed now!

April 19, 2006

the best book on anti-racist parenting i have ever read

This book was deeply moving. made me shiver. It goes so far beyond "won't our kids just get along" to some of the awful, deeply challenging questions that I see us all encountering every day, and that have no easy answers. There are horror stories, including a mother whose son was treated badly while he was under anesthesia because of his race...and stories of brilliant comebacks...it's a road map to doing "the work" while raising kids, and all the mess and sorrow and joy that entails.

You can buy it anywhere, including here.

April 18, 2006

Tell me about your favorite books about gifted girls from a variety of backgrounds

I put together a list I've been saving up for years of great books with strong, complicated, interesting, and smart girl protagonists. I wanted to make sure that these books were on my children's shelves - kids of any gender - to reinforce the idea that girls can be powerful and smart and strong.

The good thing is that these books were wonderful, fabulous, fun, and empowering. They taught me that being strong and smart (and Jewish, some of them!) was OK.

The problem is that it is also a list of all WHITE, able-bodied, American or European girls. Sexuality was, of course, never mentioned.

It's really remarkable to me to look back and see how my book choices were exclusively about white girls. I even remember reading pretty much every Judy Blume book except Iggy's House, which I seem to remember was the one where the typical white girl protagonist (gasp) encounters racism! no!

How young I internalized the concept of "other," and my society's racism. That wasn't my story, and I wasn't interested in it.

...I'm definitely going to have to broaden this list. Off to the bookstore and library! Here are some with more diverse characters that have been recommended to me that I plan to read:

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry
Island of the Blue Dolphins and Zia

And here is a website that seems to have some very promising leads...I will update as I find more sites and books.

Other recommendations? Our bookshelves will need strong, smart queer girls, disabled girls, immigrant girls, girls of color, and more...

Oh...and here is the original totally racially biased list (but still books which, as part of a more diverse list, are beloved favorites of mine that i recommend highly), for your reference:

A Wrinkle In Time and other Meg Murray books by Madeline L'Engle
Someday Angeline by Louis Sachar
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
Caddie Woodlawn and Magical Melons by Carol Ryrie Brink
Anastasia Krupnik (and all the other Anastasia books) by Lois Lowry
The Laura Ingalls Wilder books
The All-of-a-Kind Family series by Sydney Taylor
The Real Me by Betsy Byars
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
A Summer to Die by Lois Lowry
Beat the Turtle Drum by Constance C. Greene (although I don't remember this one as well, I need to reread it)
The Westing Game (which does have diversity in it, just not the bright girl character) by Ellen Raskin

More books of all kinds to be added as we go.